Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Sunday, December 8, 2013

His Way to Heaven

"I fear for my soul if I were to believe that it’s my responsibility to make sure men never desire me. My Lord didn’t put that burden on me, and I refuse to put it on myself." --Unknown

Until recently, I have been struggling with the idea of being a female Muslim. It sounds so stupid; trust me, I know, because I would just belittle the problem for the longest time. Then it came to a point where it boiled over and….well, let me explain.

I started university in 2010. Before that, I attended an Islamic school which I enjoyed very much. Once college began, I found myself put into a very similar environment to that of my high school: I was part of a very large and diverse Muslim community. I loved it. I still to this day talk about how my favorite period of life was my three years of undergrad. But it didn't come without its struggles. That was the very first time in my life that I felt weird being a girl. When Muslim brothers used to pass us in the hallways or in a classroom they would literally look the other way. During my first 2 years there, none of them would say "Alsalam Alaikum" to us when they saw us. As a 17 year old who had been taught in high school about the importance of unity in Islam and benefit of saying 'salam' to a fellow Muslim, I was confused. When I asked some of the older sisters about this, they would nonchalantly tell me that the brothers were just being modest. They only spoke to the sisters when they absolutely had no other choice. "That’s odd", I thought, but I bought it. It didn’t bother them or me and I could see no harm coming from it, so I didn’t give it another thought.

Until my last year at university. I had decided to apply to become an e-board member of the Muslim organization on campus. I thought it would be a good use of my time and it would help me become closer to Allah (swt), and it did walhamdulilah. But as the year went by, and I had to extensively work with both brothers and sisters to get events together and whatnot, I began to see why I had felt out of place being a girl before. On many an occasion, when discussing certain things like jama'ah prayer, seating arrangements, and things of the like, brothers would suggest (and sometimes insist) on having the sisters completely cut off from an activity by either seating them differently or having a curtain/barrier put up between them and the brothers, or removing them from the activity all together. I do not want to get into the details of the arguments because they were private after all, but suffice it to say that every single one of the sisters that were part of the conversation was appalled. I for one overreacted and went on a rant. After a few very heated back-and-forths, I ended with this: "These conversations always end up leaving me feeling like I have to be ashamed of being female and that I have to spend my life making sure the other gender doesn't commit any sins".

Even reading that now makes my heart hurt and my eyes water. I guess you're wondering what their argument was and why we sisters couldn't just have a civilized discussion with them about how they were most definitely in the wrong trying to shove a whole gender, a whole half of their ummah, to the side. Well, the point they kept bringing up was that females are one of the biggest fitnah (trail/test) to men. And they brought up some of the most famous sahih ahadeeth on this subject:

"The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “I have not left behind any fitnah more harmful to men than women.” (Bukhari)

Because of this hadith, the brothers thought that all our arguments were invalid and that they needed to do whatever they could to make sure they were not 'tested', even if it was costing us. But here is something I realized after a couple months of thinking: they, like many other brothers thought that the only way a woman can be a test to a man is by her looks. That was how I understood it for a long time too. That is how it was taught to me. Now-- I am not a scholar or even anything close to that. I have not extensively studied fiqh or sharia'ah. I am just a Muslim American girl that was struggling to find her footing-- so this may not be the only interpretation or even the correct one, but I am so much more at peace with this struggle because of it. I've come to the conclusion that yes, women are definitely a fitnah to men because of their looks, but how men treat them and act toward them because of or despite that, is also a test. It’s all about finding the middle ground. Giving in to your desires and allowing yourself to come close to zinnah is definitely not the way to go, but neither is completely ignoring the other gender and all but deeming them taboo in their entirety as a means to ensure you are never ever confronted with the test to begin with.

To all of the brothers, and even sisters, who think that women need to be on the backburner in order for our ummah to function: I respectfully disagree. I could sit here and tell you about how Islam was born in the lap of a woman, that the first Muslim to die for the sake of Allah (swt) was a woman, and how after the Prophet's (saw) death, one of the most knowledgeable persons about our wonderful beautiful religion was a woman, but you already know that. You know our importance and our worth. I am not claiming that you don't. I am humbly reminding you that although you might recognize our importance and worth in your minds, your actions don't. Your actions make us feel like we are to blame. We are not. If you feel like you cannot deal with the very real desire that overcomes you when you are in the company of a woman, especially if the woman is a sister in Islam, NEVER try to blame her. Never try to belittle her opinions and her sense of being by making it seem like she is the devil's spawn and you are the victim. Never make her feel like her gender is a sin because Allah (swt) created her in the most perfect way just like he created you. By doing so, you are unconsciously telling her that her looks are all that matter and that is the only thing you see in her. You are reassuring her, just like pop-culture and media is, that the only factor you are judging her by is her appearance and that is not what Islam teaches us. You know that. Go do some soul searching and strengthen your iman. It’s a struggle, but all of life is a struggle and just because our struggles are different doesn't mean yours is any more important then hers. She has to work on herself and fight with her nafs too. She faces fitnah too. Your salvation is not more important then hers. Do not trample her on your way to heaven.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Vibram 5-fingers

So I just bought these sneakers so I don't die and break my shins every time I run. They are so comfy! But very weird to get used to. I'm gonna take em for a spin Tom morning and see. They say I gotta take it slow so I don't hurt myself because it makes you use muscles you've never used before because we are so used to shoes. I've been wearing them around and people give me looks lol.

Monday, December 31, 2012

What a Great Mom!

I was reading an article on Yahoo about a mom that bought her teenage son an iPhone for Christmas. But she gave him a list of rules that he had to agree to first before accepting the gift. This is parenting done right. Finally, a parent that is not afraid to actually PARENT!

"Dear Gregory

Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift. But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations. Please read through the following contract. I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership.

I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.

1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?

2. I will always know the password.

3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad". Not ever.

4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.

8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.

10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person ? preferably me or your father.

11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts. Don't laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear -- including a bad reputation.

13. Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO -- fear of missing out.

15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.

16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.

17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.

18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

It is my hope that you can agree to these terms. Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to the iPhone, but to life. You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world. It is exciting and enticing. Keep it simple every chance you get. Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine. I love you. I hope you enjoy your awesome new iPhone. Merry Christmas!

xoxoxo

Mom"

Monday, December 17, 2012

Things I Would Love to Accomplish in My Lifetime, But Probably Won't

Learn Latin
Climb a mountain
Learn to swim
Live alone for at least a month
Change a person's life
Win something
Write a book
Have a pen-pal
Properly learn how to draw
Invent/discover something
Learn archery

Yep, I'm back. Will I stay? Who knows.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Manly MEN

Salam! *hides face* I know I know. Can we not talk about my laziness? Kay.

LOTS of ideas coming to me! Get ready!

This idea has been floating around in the soup of thoughts I have for quite a while. Whenever I overhear others talking about prospective husbands, I always hear the words, “but he’s not a MAN.” And then I stop and think: I say that ALL the time. And I hear others say it in many different contexts too. Girls are always complaining about how men these days are more like boys, and I am the first to admit that. I don’t think that this is problematic because I believe it to be true. The issue is, however, how can we expect them to be true men when we are not true women? Is it not that great women raise great men? This begs the question: What is a “womanly” woman? Or rather, what are the characteristics of a true woman? Of course, different cultures, eras, social classes, and families hold women to different standards. The great thing is we do not have to abide by these standards because we are Muslim women wa’alhamdulliah. Before I define what it means to be a virtuous Muslimah, I’d like to start with this hadeeth:

The Prophet (sAw) said, "I looked at Paradise and saw that the majority of its residents were the poor; and I looked at the (Hell) Fire and saw that the majority of its residents were women." -Sahih Bukhari

Deep breath in, deep breath out. Ehhem. Allah yi7meenah min 3athab alnar. Ameen.

WHY? Well, it’s because especially nowadays, women have nothing better to do then look down on other people. They talk about who dresses weird, who needs to lose weight, who is prettier, and the list goes on and on. We backbite. A LOT.

“And backbite not one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful.” (49:12)

heres nother hadeeth Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet (sAw) said, “O Muslim women! None of you should look down upon the gift sent by her she-neighbor even if it were the trotters of the sheep (fleshless part of legs).” – Sahih Bukhari,

How many of us do these things? Too many. We backbite and hold our heads high and then ask for a REAL man. Well, here is what Allah (swt) says about women in Surat AL-Nur:

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, necks and bosoms, etc.) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands fathers, their sons, their husbands sons, their brothers or their brothers sons, or their sisters sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful. (24:31)

This one ayah, sub7anallah, says so much. It instructs us to be modest in how we dress and in how we walk. It instructs us to not adorn ourselves for non-mi7rams and not to show off our natural beauty. Let us look at this hadeeth:

Ibn Hibban narrated that the Prophet (sAw)said, "If a woman prayed the five prayers, fasted in Ramadhan, protected her honor and obeyed her husband; then she will be told (on the Day of Judgment): enter Paradise from any of its doors.

Now this hadeeth paired with that ayahs and hadeeths, boggle my mind. Women in comparison to men have much less of a social responsibility. We are instructed to do only three things: pray, fast, and obey our husbands. We are however instructed to refrain from many more things (which makes the test of this life as difficult as a man): showing off our beauty, walking while stamping our feet, backbiting, looking down on others, and the list continues. We are creatures of emotion, and emotion leads to many of the things that I have listed. Although it is not haram at all to be expressive of emotion, we must be careful not to hurt others and to mold our society correctly. In order for us to expect real men to be available right and left, we must first work on ourselves. Because we will one day (isA) have to mold future men. If we are focused on pleasing Allah and are noble and virtuous women, our children will isA be real men and women. Because what is a real woman or man but one who serves Allah (swt) to the best of his ability?

Of course this post is an overly simplistic view on the true dealings of a Muslimah, but it is a start. Inshallah this wont be the last time I delve into this topic as it intrests me, but I must research much more before I continue.

-Laila

Monday, March 14, 2011

Poems

Here's a poem we have to Analyze for my Humanities class and I really like it! I think I like this poem for the same reason I like "The Raven" by Poe (who is my all-time favorite author). This is "Daddy" by Sylvia Plath.

Daddy

Sylvia Plath

You do not do, you do not do
Any more, black shoe
In which I have lived like a foot
For thirty years, poor and white,
Barely daring to breathe or Achoo.

Daddy, I have had to kill you.
You died before I had time---
Marble-heavy, a bag full of God,
Ghastly statue with one grey toe
Big as a Frisco seal

And a head in the freakish Atlantic
Where it pours bean green over blue
In the waters off beautiful Nauset.
I used to pray to recover you.
Ach, du.

In the German tongue, in the Polish town
Scraped flat by the roller 
Of wars, wars, wars.
But the name of the town is common.
My Polack friend

Says there are a dozen or two.
So I never could tell where you
Put your foot, your root,
I never could talk to you.
The tongue stuck in my jaw.

It stuck in a barb wire snare.
Ich, ich, ich, ich,
I could hardly speak.
I thought every German was you.
And the language obscene

An engine, an engine
Chuffing me off like a Jew.
A Jew to Dachau, Auschwitz, Belsen.
I began to talk like a Jew.
I think I may well be a Jew.

The snows of the Tyrol, the clear beer of Vienna
Are not very pure or true.
With my gypsy ancestress and my weird luck
And my Taroc pack and my Taroc pack
I may be a bit of a Jew.

I have always been scared of *you*,
With your Luftwaffe, your gobbledygoo.
And your neat mustache
And your Aryan eye, bright blue.
Panzer-man, panzer-man, O You---

Not God but a swastika
So black no sky could squeak through.
Every woman adores a Fascist,
The boot in the face, the brute
Brute heart of a brute like you.

You stand at the blackboard, daddy,
In the picture I have of you,
A cleft in your chin instead of your foot
But no less a devil for that, no not
Any less the black man who

Bit my pretty red heart in two.
I was ten when they buried you.
At twenty I tried to die
And get back, back, back to you.
I thought even the bones would do.

But they pulled me out of the sack,
And they stuck me together with glue.
And then I knew what to do.
I made a model of you,
A man in black with a Meinkampf look

And a love of the rack and the screw.
And I said I do, I do.
So daddy, I'm finally through.
The black telephone's off at the root,
The voices just can't worm through.

If I've killed one man, I've killed two---
The vampire who said he was you
and drank my blood for a year,
Seven years, if you want to know.
Daddy, you can lie back now.

There's a stake in your fat, black heart
And the villagers never liked you.
They are dancing and stamping on you.
They always *knew* it was you.
Daddy, daddy, you bastard, I'm through.

-Laila

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Back AGAIN

Yes, I know! I'm inconsistent and lazy! But I've been literally drowning in homework! I hardly have time to breath. anyway I came across this quote:

"Sometimes we attach ourselves too closely to people and when they are gone a part of us is gone too.Sometimes, the biggest risks are those we take with our hearts."

And it was like someone slapped me across the face. May Allah (swt) aide us in devoting the whole of our hearts to Him and only Him. Your heart is safe with Him.

-Laila

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Al7amdulilah for Everything

Monday, November 8, 2010

Thoughts...

1- I love it when you're walking and the wind is blowing in the same direction that you are walking and it feels like it’s pushing you along. It feels amazing

2- I love the feeling of paper that’s written on. It feels like Braille...and I absolutely LOVE how it feels.

3- A large percentage of physical pain is psychological. A very large percentage. So be positive and be strong.

4- If you love something DO IT. I’m majoring in biology and I feel like I’m in heaven every single time I open my biology book. I feel free and at ease. It’s amazing. (I know this sounds really dorky, but I honestly love every second of it)

5- Many people have the amazing ability to make themselves like/hate something. if you are one of those people...USE YOUR ABILITY!! That’s such a time saver and it makes life much simpler.

6-

My Definition of love- (between two people, not Allah (swt)) Given the choice to 1)walk away or start over and 2)put up with your issues to be with you, the person who loves you would choose the latter. and let me make this clear. This scenario (the way I think of it) does not have any other outside influences. No children, no money, no secrets. If the decision was based entirely and solely on the willingness to put up with you or not, then it is true. I know this isn’t very realistic, but it’s the only way I know how to describe it.

This isn't my picture but that's how i feel right now =D

-Laila

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

=D

IM IN A GOOD MOOOD TODAYYYY. Here's today's picture. its Ruwa and Sarah's matching bangles.

Ruwa noticed that I like to take up-close pictures more then actual portraits. I guess its because I like simplicity.

-Laila <3

Thursday, October 28, 2010

PICTURES!! =)

So today is the day I start with the pictures! WOO!
Nature never ceases to amaze me. It’s so perfect in every way sub7anallah. I have no idea what this is but it’s gorgeous, no? I found it on the terrace.

It looks like grapes! But its definatley not since it was on a stalk not a vine. Not to mention it is the wrong hue of green.
Do you like my amazing photography skills? haha.