Salam! *hides face* I know I know. Can we not talk about my laziness? Kay.
LOTS of ideas coming to me! Get ready!
This idea has been floating around in the soup of thoughts I have for quite a while. Whenever I overhear others talking about prospective husbands, I always hear the words, “but he’s not a MAN.” And then I stop and think: I say that ALL the time. And I hear others say it in many different contexts too. Girls are always complaining about how men these days are more like boys, and I am the first to admit that. I don’t think that this is problematic because I believe it to be true. The issue is, however, how can we expect them to be true men when we are not true women? Is it not that great women raise great men? This begs the question: What is a “womanly” woman? Or rather, what are the characteristics of a true woman? Of course, different cultures, eras, social classes, and families hold women to different standards. The great thing is we do not have to abide by these standards because we are Muslim women wa’alhamdulliah. Before I define what it means to be a virtuous Muslimah, I’d like to start with this hadeeth:
The Prophet (sAw) said, "I looked at Paradise and saw that the majority of its residents were the poor; and I looked at the (Hell) Fire and saw that the majority of its residents were women." -Sahih Bukhari
Deep breath in, deep breath out. Ehhem. Allah yi7meenah min 3athab alnar. Ameen.
WHY? Well, it’s because especially nowadays, women have nothing better to do then look down on other people. They talk about who dresses weird, who needs to lose weight, who is prettier, and the list goes on and on. We backbite. A LOT.
“And backbite not one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful.” (49:12)
heres nother hadeeth Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (sAw) said, “O Muslim women! None of you should look down upon the gift sent by her she-neighbor even if it were the trotters of the sheep (fleshless part of legs).” – Sahih Bukhari,
How many of us do these things? Too many. We backbite and hold our heads high and then ask for a REAL man. Well, here is what Allah (swt) says about women in Surat AL-Nur:
And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, necks and bosoms, etc.) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands fathers, their sons, their husbands sons, their brothers or their brothers sons, or their sisters sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful. (24:31)
This one ayah, sub7anallah, says so much. It instructs us to be modest in how we dress and in how we walk. It instructs us to not adorn ourselves for non-mi7rams and not to show off our natural beauty. Let us look at this hadeeth:
Ibn Hibban narrated that the Prophet (sAw)said, "If a woman prayed the five prayers, fasted in Ramadhan, protected her honor and obeyed her husband; then she will be told (on the Day of Judgment): enter Paradise from any of its doors.
Now this hadeeth paired with that ayahs and hadeeths, boggle my mind. Women in comparison to men have much less of a social responsibility. We are instructed to do only three things: pray, fast, and obey our husbands. We are however instructed to refrain from many more things (which makes the test of this life as difficult as a man): showing off our beauty, walking while stamping our feet, backbiting, looking down on others, and the list continues. We are creatures of emotion, and emotion leads to many of the things that I have listed. Although it is not haram at all to be expressive of emotion, we must be careful not to hurt others and to mold our society correctly. In order for us to expect real men to be available right and left, we must first work on ourselves. Because we will one day (isA) have to mold future men. If we are focused on pleasing Allah and are noble and virtuous women, our children will isA be real men and women. Because what is a real woman or man but one who serves Allah (swt) to the best of his ability?
Of course this post is an overly simplistic view on the true dealings of a Muslimah, but it is a start. Inshallah this wont be the last time I delve into this topic as it intrests me, but I must research much more before I continue.
-Laila
